they don't call it the south for nothing.

HELLZ YEAH, I'm wearing a fucking bandana. ahahahah. I thought it looked kind of cool. saw some dude wearing it, and kind of wanted to try it out. I think it looks okay, but it would be better if my hair was longer.. idk. I liked it. :D
oh, and that weird accumulation of blood on my earlobe. it looks really nasty, and I hope it'll go away by itself. I'll probably go to my piercer tomorrow, since I have to shorten my left labret. then I can ask Martin what's up with my earlobe, and what I can do about it. but it's only if I have the time that I can get it checked. I have to go to the dentist tomorrow, and I really don't want to. I don't think I have any holes, actually I've never had, but it's because I'm afraid that they'll say "TAKE OUT YOUR PIERCINGS!" like the last time I was there. it's because I can't take out my piercings alone, because I can't put them back in by myself. it's pretty fail.. so I won't risk that. I'm not really afraid of dentists. I just don't like getting scanned, because it hurts like fuck, because I have a pretty small mouth, and the thingey you have to bite down on is too big for me. the last time I got scanned, I cried due to the pain. and it's at 11 AM.. where I normally am fast asleep, so I have to wake up really early. due to the fucking dentist.

my mum came over today, to help me tidy my room as she does every week. it's been some weeks ago since she came over, so there was pretty messy.. it's not only because I'm lazy that I don't tidy, but it's also because of my schizophrenia, that I can't. I simply can't put myself together to do the everyday things I need. I've managed to learn how to take care of myself, as meant in taking showers and keeping clean. even though some weeks ago, I was pretty nasty, because I felt depressed and couldn't get myself to do such basic things. I still haven't learned how to tidy by myself, but it'll come. I wish I could tidy my room by myself, and I actually kind of admire people who can do that. it's a weird little thing.

but anyway, she came over and helped me, so my room is clean and tidy now. it's fantastic, I really like it this way. I even got to do laundry, I'm so good. hahah. *high five*
because I had to take the bus at 6:38 PM, we couldn't eat together with my residency, they eat at 6:30 PM. so we went to buy me some sushi, residing right across the street, and my mum some mexican burger. the sushi wasn't that great, and I felt nauseaous while eating it, because of the consistence, which sucked, since I really enjoy sushi. and my mum's burger was also pretty bad, so she swore herself she won't eat there ever again, hahah. I had to go to my Japanese lessons, and she followed me all the way, which was really sweet of her. I love my mum. <3

the Japanese lessons... I don't know. I knew some of the stuff, but there was also things I hadn't learned. I haven't learned how to bend the "-te verbs", and that's pretty much what the entire lesson was all about. which sucked, since I didn't understand that. I've learned a bit about it, self-taught when I translated songs at a point, but I don't get when you use "imasu" and "-te". I understand reading it, but I don't know how to make the sentences with "-te". and it didn't help that I still haven't ordered my Japanese book. -___-

met Laura on the way home, and then we just hung out for an hour and a half, looking at hawt-ass boys. it was really nice. and now, I'll probably go look for some more hawt-ass boys, since I've found the perfect tumblr-page for it. mhm-hm. <3

in case I don't write a blog tomorrow evening.. I'm going to a specialized doctor with Jamie on Thursday. I can't wait, and on the other hand, I'm so nervous. it's about if it's possible that he can start up on T. I can't wait to hear what the doctor said, but I'm also scared as hell. if he gets a thumbs up from the doctor, I'm afraid I'm gonna cry of happiness. if he gets a no, I'm afraid I'm gonna cry like a little baby. I really hope the doctor will say yes. I'm crossing every little part of me.
it's been a little over a month since the last time I saw him. and I'm really looking forward to seeing him again. also because it means a lot to me, that he wants me to go with him. hell, everything about the doctor's means a lot to me. I really care about this.