getting off my chest, the story ends.

today has been a really good day, I've kept myself busy and I have laughed a lot. I feel better than I've done in a long time. but there's still these thoughts that bugs the hell out of me, and it's really annoying and frustrating. there's 2 things on my mind, but I don't feel like talking about it right now. but maybe later in the entry.

my mum came over at 3 PM to help me tidy my room, but it wasn't that bad this time. it was really nice to see her again, even though I was really tired and didn't talk much. but it's nice and clean in here, so I'm good. she left pretty early, though. then I hurried up and took a shower, because Emilia came over. I've had such a great day with her. like, really, and she made me feel temporarely happy. at first, we just hung out at my room for an hour, just talking about random stuff and all that jazz we usually do. oh yeah, and we fooled around with PhotoBooth. it was so much fun, and we took some crazy-ass pictures! maybe I'll post them on Facebook, and the video. oh god, the video is amazing. we're such goofballz.
then we decided to go grab something to eat, so we went for Running Sushi. it was so delicious, and I got pretty full. it's our second time eating sushi together, nom nom. sitting there, and being totally gross, hahahaha.
then, because I had a consolation at the Copenhagen's LGBT team, we went to Rådhuspladsen. pretty much got lost on our way to the counselor, even though it was right ahead of us. after some time, we found it and got up there.
they told me to come back again next week, though. I talked with a man, for about 5 minutes, and he said I should rather talk to one of the transsexual counselors instead, but there wasn't anyone on work that day. so yeah.. mission not accomplished. I had looked so much forward to talking with someone, so it was pretty much a bummer for me. but then, next week is the week!

after the 5 minutes of counselling, we left. then we went to New Yorker, where I bought this t-shirt and a pair of boxers. the t-shirt is really cool! I'll wear it tomorrow, and probably take a picture of it. hahah.
went home with Emilia, and ate pancakes at my residency. then we hung out with Nanna and Jonas. Emilia left, and then I hung out with the guys + Frederik and Laura. it was a pretty nice evening. now I'm just online, even though no one is online. I want to talk to some of the persons closest to me right now,... but everyone is asleep (even though it's not that late) and I don't want to bother them.

my mind is filled up with thoughts. and it's overwhelming, and I can't control them. as of lately, I feel like my body is not fit for me. like I should see something else, when I looked in the mirror. I like my body though, I think it LOOKS good, but it's just not mine. I don't belong in here. and it confuses me a hella lot. because I dress girly too. but it's just been a very long time since I last dressed girly. am I just having a very boyish time of my life?
that was one of the things I had on my mind.

the other..
I know it's not about me, so I won't even get my hopes up. and I can't help but feel sad, knowing that.