boys don't cry.

my scars from Thursday are healing pretty nicely. I've ripped out all the stitches except one, and I'll probably take that one out tomorrow. btw, if my grammar is not correct, it's because I'm tipsy. I'll write more about that later.

I love my new flowery shirt! it's awesome. totally my taste of the present. it's nice. lately, I eat all the time, but I don't feel like I'm fat anymore, or at least not right now. I wish anorexia wasn't a sickness that would stay with you for such a long time, because in some periods, I get really obsessive with food and won't eat anything else than apples and the like, and just go exercise all the time. I had that period for a few months ago the last time. I still can feel triggered by certain things, but right at the moment, I don't want that to control me, because I know how much it can destroy your private life. but if I look at really thin guys and girls, like Ryuuji from Zoro, I can feel very triggered. I want to be thin. but right now, I feel somehow okay with my own body.

anyway, I got crunk today with Emma. we decided that we wanted to drink, so we bought a bunch of alcoholic drinks at the local.. what's it called? marked? I don't know. small shop?
we headed for Frederiksberg Garden, and sat us under a tree and drank. it was lovely, beside we both felt like throwing up because we're (STILL. DX) both sick. it sucked, but we had fun.

I want to draw a picture of Jamie and I, so I can hand it to him when he gets home. <3 I'm so in love with him. everything just feels right, you know? I can tell him anything without feeling guilty or ashamed or embarrased. and he makes me feel beautiful and comfortable with my body. I can walk around naked in his room without feeling weird or anything, it's amazing. he has given me reasons not to hate myself so much, and I do feel special and happy to be alive when I'm with him. it's like with my best friend, I also feel happy to be alive when I'm with her.

I'm listening to Blink 182 a lot right at the moment, I don't care if they are emo, but I like them.

I miss my best friend. <3333