I lie here staring up at the stratosphere and hoping we're gonna get out of here.

today has been nice and calm. I spent my day together with my mum. we went to the cinema and watched Klovn - The Movie, and holy fuck, it's so embarassing! there was a time when I had to hold my hands over my face because it was so embarassing. and then there's the tiniest dick EVER in it, too.. and oh god, it was just.. awesome, fun tiemz and so embarassing. I know a few people who have seen it, and they actually made it sound more embarassing than I think it was.. I mean, it was emberassing, but not to a point where you wanted to kill yourself, hahah. but it was a great movie, typical Klovn, just longer and well.. a slight bit more embarassing than normal. hahahha. but yeah, great movie. originally, we wanted to see Burlesque, but I needed to laugh just a little, so we watched Klovn instead. during the weekend I'm going to see Burlesque though, and I'm looking forward to it very much. I mean, half-nekkid chicks just does something to a queer teen brain, huh.
then after that, we wanted to go out eating, but we were both feeling icky because of the popcorn (which we only ate the half of), so she followed me home instead. it was pretty nice, but I've pretty much eaten close to nothing today. a slice of carrot cake and some handfulls of popcorn, and that's it. I'm not even hungry. besides, I end up puking anyways. last time I puked was.. 2 days ago, while brushing my teeth. it was the day Jamie broke up with me, so I had been really nervous. so yeah.. I vomited, but I kinda did provoke it.

and then I haven't been doing much else, since it took the whole day. then I hung out with Laura and her boyfriend for 20 min or so, but then they started arguing, so I was sent to my room. then I wrote on MSN with a bunch of people, which got me all confused at a point, because I had so many conversations going on. I've started writing with some new people, some of them really awesome, and some of them.. pretty nasty. D:

I feel like I should write something about the break-up, but I actually don't have anything to say. we talk like friends now, and I like it that way. of course I'm still sad, but it's not like I've lost him. he's right there, as a friend. and I've accepted it as it is, and I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore, which is good, I guess. but I do love him, and I still feel broke. I feel like a part of me is missing.