these white pills aren't kind.

so I'm just gonna tell about my week.

Monday, I visited Jamie, and it was nice. a bit awkward, but nice. there was some silence if I remember correctly, but we also lay in each other's arms and cuddled and kissed. we talked about having an open relationship. I don't know, man, in a way I think I'll be able to do it, but in a way, it's the opposite. I mean, I like the thought of being able to kiss and fuck other people, but I know that Jamie might fall in love in the persons he would fuck around with. so I don't know. I don't think we have anything between us anymore, or at least not from his side. so.. idk. idk man. but it was really nice to see him, I think it was nice to talk to him about it all face to face. and of course, the cuddling.

Wednesday, I went to the fucking Crystal Castles concert in Vega!! AWESOME, I TELL YOU, AWESOME! I danced soooo much, it was so pleasant. but they didn't play Not In Love and XXCUZXX ME, which I'm kind of dissapointed about.. but Crimewave was fucking rad! Alice Glass is fucking amazing, even though she had her foot broken.

and Friday night, I spend together with Laura and her boyfriend, David. it was nice! they're both so sweet, and obviously very in love with each other. so when they snuggled, they teased me for being the emo in the corner with nobody, hahah. but they made sure I was okay, and I didn't feel outside the conversation. I went for a walk with David and talked about juggalos and ICP.

Saturday, I spent some time together with my brother and his girlfriend, making sushi and watching brokeback mountain. that movie dissapointed me... D: I had expected so much more. but it was really nice to get to talk to my brother, I rarely see him. I told him about my addiction to weed I had earlier this year, and he beat some sense into me, since he has also been addicted to it.

and now, I'm just home, smoking some fags. I still feel like I should be dead, because I know I won't turn 25 ever. why not just do it now?