you're holding up my world, so I need you.

some days ago, I read some of my former blog entries, and I realized how happy and blissful my days are. of course, there's troubles and worries too, but nothing like my past and when I was at my sickest point in my life. I've survived so much, and it's paying off right at the moment, with good days and joy. I really realized how amazing and lovely my life is, and how great it is to be alive. I'm starting up at a school for writers this summer, and I really can't wait. it's going to be so good, and all I want is just to start up right now. it's mostly interviews and stuff like that, for the school magazine in Denmark. but we will also be working on poems, manuscripts, short stories, and prosa. I really can't wait! it's going to be amazing, to do something I want to everyday, and even getting paid for it. you get like.. 3-4000 a month, just for being there, and doing what you like to do. I'm so hyped up right now! I really hope I can get a spot there, I would absolutely love that. and some of my friends go at that school too, just on other lines of creativity. for example, my great friend Emma will be going there next year again (she went last school year too), just on the music line. Emilia, too, have gone there. she was on the photo line, and one of the former residents at my residency has gone to the writer's line, too. argh, I really can't wait!! I will probably be there for half a year, and when it's around Christmas, I'll try to get a spot at Grib Chancen, so I can finish my education. it's lovely, and I really do feel like I can manage it. last year, I couldn't and dropped out. this time, I'm almost sure it will be different.
so I'm happy.

I have an amazing, heart-tugging best friend, and she's incredible. and so beautiful. she supports me in everything, and is completely honest in everything she vents with me. I wanted to see her today, but I think she didn't ask her parents.. I want to see her this weekend, since I miss her so much. she's really incredible and fun. we always do crazy and chillax and fat stuff when we're together. crazy, like being extremely uncharming and fooling around with weird stuff, like making a homemade lava-lamp out of sugar, soy sauce and other stuff you shouldn't mix together. chillax, like gaming video games, and spending our summer playing frisbee at the park while drinking. fat, like eating everything that is possible to eat, HAHAHA.
come visit me, darling.. <3

and I have amazing friends, who supports me in being transsexual, my past, my thoughts and my good and bad days. thanks to all of you, I've become so much more happy than I have ever been, and I can't thank you all enough for that. you make life worth living.

yesterday, I went out with Jonas, to meet his mother for the first time. oh, yeah, Jonas is my love at the moment.. surprised? most aren't. hahaha.
anyway, we went to his mum's place, which took us like an hour to get there on the way there, and only took us 20 minutes on the way home. FAIL! I was really nervous, I always am, when I meet my crushes/lover's parents. I don't know why. maybe it's because I want to make a great impression as possible, because if they can't accept me, why should my love then? and I know how much Jonas' mum means to him, he loves her with all of his heart. so we bought some beautiful orchids on the way, and met up with her and drank a beer/somersby, before we headed home to her place. it's a really nice little apartment she's got, in my opinion. oh, and I found the cutest picture ever! <3 it's a picture of Jonas when he was around 15 years old, and he looks so adorable and way too cute. I got all happy when I found that picture, and now it's the background on my cellphone. you gotta see it;

ISN'T HE ADORABLE!? hahahhahaha. he was so pop, it seems. but so cute. I just wanna pinch his cheeks and nawww. <3
we drank some red wine at his mum's place, before eating, and sat there, talking. or, it was mostly them talking, since it was about his past, and what he had done and not done. it was a rather sad conversation, actually, but I knew it all because we've talked about it several times, for hours, I think. he has been through some rough shit, and I'm so proud of him that he's totally done with it all. I am really proud of him. <3
we ate spareribs (which were like, really delicious) and baked potatoes and more red wine. it was nice, even though I got a bit drunk. we left after dinner, bought some more wine, and headed home to our residency, hand in hand. when we got home, we talked about some things I have to settle with him, if we were to get in a relationship, which we absolutely will. and he was so understanding, kind and sweet. he totally gets me, which I appreciate from the bottom of my heart. it was amazing. I'm still in awe over how gentle and incredible he is, and I will be so proud to someday call him mine. <3

today, I was woken up by him at 9:30 or so, because we had to help his mother moving some furniture. it was kind of a hard job. then when we got home, we laid in the grass in sunshine.
later, we're going to Tivoli, just to walk around for an hour or so, since we have this free card to it. after that, we're going out eating. we're going to eat at Wagamama, and I already know what I want from there; teriyaki salmon soba, NOM NOM NOM. <3

my heart is full of candies, bubbles and confetti, and I feel like I'm soon gonna explode with happiness. <3