right here at Denny's, drinking coffee and sharing a cigarette.

today, around 11 AM, Jonas and Nanna woke me up, because we were going shopping. they kept knocking on my door, and I kept replying, but they didn't hear that. so in the end, because I was tired, I just yelled "I'M FUCKING UP GODDAMNIT!". when I get woken up like that, I can get cranky, like a little child. it's pretty br00tal. but if Nanna's reading this, then; I'm sorry, okay? XD hahahah. but it was just because they kept knocking, and telling me to wake up, when I actually was awake. for some reason, that pissed me off. I fail at life...
but then they came into my room, and we smoke some fags and talked for a bit. Frederik joined us, too. it was a pretty nice way to wake up, being social and shit from the start, haha.
then Nanna and I got ready, and headed off. we went to my piercer, since I needed to get my ears stretched again. it's his last day in Gorlubb, so I had to make sure I got it done before he left for good. he's starting his own piercing studio in Hardcase Tattoo (and now, Piercing).
I originally wanted the blue tunnels they had, but they didn't have it in my new size.. so I chose some neon yellow, as you can see in the picture. Nanna thought it would look horrible, but when I got them in, she actually admitted that it looked kinda rad, haha. I'm in love with them, I think they're awesome. but hell, it hurt to get them stretched! I wanted to get them up to 10 mm this time, but it was safer to only get them up to 8mm. so yeah.. sadface, but they're still kinda cool. but when I got my lobes stretched, it hurt like hell. I spasmed all over when he did it, hahah. fail. and they hurt a lot afterwards. they are still kinda sore, actually..
and I had to get used to feeling air waving through my ears, hahahah!

then we met up with Jonas, and went shopping. Nanna bought a pair of Iron Fist shoes, and they're so rad and lovely! I fucking love them, they're amazing. I bought a t-shirt with space invaders on, and two donut necklaces, since my other one broke. Jonas bought some pants, and two lovely t-shirts. and he bought us waffles, nommm!

then we got home, ate dinner, and then Laura and I watched Boys Don't Cry. she started crying at one point and left the room, I was so worried, so I followed her. but she's okay now, it's just a very harsh movie to watch. Jonas joined us in the ending, and he got all bummed out.
then Jonas and I went to my room for some smokes, and just sat and had some deep talks. it was nice, got on a lot of different subjects. then Laura came down and joined us for 20 minutes, and then we parted, all of us.

I basically just wanted to update about my day, because it's been great, really.

left with a trace of all that was, and all that could have been.

so these days have been nice! I've laughed a lot, and I had such a great time.
Friday, I met up with a girl I've written with in Holbæk. it was fine and all, just walked around in the city for a few hours and sat on some playground and stuff.
then I went home to my residency, and was online and stuff, I don't really remember what I did to be honest, haha. oh yeah, emma came home from a bar, and crashed in my room, which was pretty nice. she slept on a matress beside me. they're btw back together again, her and Andreas. it's lovely and I'm happy for them. <3
then saturday, I was woken up by Emma at 10 AM, and then we went to Strøget, because she needed socks. and the weather was so nice! the sun was shining and all. and I was in a really great mood, so nothing could get better.
then we got home, and I took a shower and got ready. chilled for a while with Jonas. then I took off to Jamie's, to pick him up, since he had no moniez, and I wanted him to come with me and the others to Club Christopher. then we took the train home to my place, listening to Nevershoutnever and random drum'n'bass while we were on the train. it was niiiiice. <3
got to my residency, and then hung out with Jonas, Emma and Frederik. drank some vodka and cola, while we were at it, haha. then we all, Jonas, Jamie, Frederik, Emma and I, went to Vela, to warm up for a bit, but mostly because it beats sitting at home. so we drank some strawberry shots, and smoked some fags, but I think we only were there for like.. 20-30 minutes, before we left. oh, and I laughed a lot because.. the guard in front of Vela was all like; "ladies first", and by that he ment Jonas. HAHAHAAHAH. fucking owned, Jonas!
then we waited in line for a while in front of CC, and got in. but then Frederik and Emma got lost on the way in... D: but we found them! got us some drinks and a table, and sat and talked. danced some also. just had fun in general. and you know what? one of the guys I was together with, came out as bisexual. he even kissed a guy that night. it was fucking awesome. we're gonna go there together again next weekend!
then around 6 AM, we took off and got home. then we all sat in my room and talked, while being rather shitfaced, all of us. I think we went to sleep around 7 AM.
woke up at 2-3 AM, with Jamie by my side, and when I got up for a smoke, I puked, immediately. fucking hate hangovers. and then when I came back, I was stupid enough to think; "well, I've vomited now, so nothing can happen!".. until I took another drag of my cigarette. and then I puked again. followed Jamie to the central station an hour after.

and today and yesterday has been really great. yesterday, Jonas, Frederik, Emma and I watched Monster together, in emma's room. it was awesome, as usual.
and today, we've been playing singstars, Nanna, Jonas and I. and then we watched some of The L Word, because both Nanna and Laura adore Shane. hahah. it was awesome.
tomorrow, I'm going shopping with Nanna and Jonas, which I'm looking forward to.

I will always love you.

haven't really blogged for a while. I've wanted to, but been to busy with other stuff, mostly like hanging out with my roommates. it's been nice. slept in Emma's bed with her for 2 days, even though we're not allowed, such crimeriders we are. been drinking at my residence, which is also pretty crimerider-like. but Emma and Andreas, the two I've mentioned in an earlier entry, who was engaged, split up. Emma is a really good friend of mine, so I'm really sad on her behalf. but I'm pretty sure they're gonna end up together again.. they're just "meant to be". some people is.. they were kind of my light of love, like.. I believed, and still believe, that they will always love each other. (sadface, 'cause this hits close to home, at least to me.)

Thursday, when I came home from my mum's place, I just sat around and talked with emma in my room. decided to get something to drink, so we drank some of my Bacardi Lemon, and a beer for emma. but then she did this really gross thing... she puked. in. my. zink. IN MY ZINK. ARAKHFHJKFADj. I died. but I had a fun evening and cozy evening!
Friday, I picked up Laura at the central station, because she came home from Berlin. IT WAS SO NICE TO SEE HER AGAIN AFJDFH. I had such a boring week before that, because she's the person I hang out with the most. so it was amazing to see her again. then we came home, after Jonas had called me a dozens of times, only to find that him and Frederik was so incredibly shitfaced. so yeah, decided to get my crunk oonnnn, even though I didn't get drunk. but they were funny. I got to ash in Frederik's hair, and he was all like, "if you're gonna puke, you're welcome to puke on my chair! :'D :'D :'D", hahahahahhaha.
then Friday, I went to Club Christopher with Laura and David and our pink smokes. laura had bought us both a box of pink cigarettes each, I felt so faggy. had a nice time at CC, but got soooo drunk, as usual. apparently, I threw up 3 times during that night, but I only remember 2 times. that says something about my condition. and I dropped my McD burger. again, that says something about my condition. but I was pretty down that night, because.. yeah, it's lame, but I deleted all my incoming textmessages, including some from some time ago, where someone had written something nice to me. and it stung like shit. and people could apparently see it, that night. because people over all the time and held my head up, and told me that I looked down, and I should join them and get happy. oh, and some random really nasty dude kissed me. ): it was so gross, and I was in shock, so I just walked away.

this week hasn't really been special, nothing to say. Jonas asked me if I was transgender today.

and I'm confused.

However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you

take your love out on me, bondage is what I know best.

hi there. :]
yes, I look super serious and shit. and yes, the background is super sexy, with that weird curtain in the background. but that's what you get, when you are in a little hut with no modern design whatsoever. but look at the shirt! I just bought it, and I love it. it makes me look like such a geek, and I feel fabulous while wearing it. hahah. it's from New Yorker.

I went to Tisvilde with Emma, Laura, Berit and Lenna this weekend. and I had a great time! it was really cozy, and I enjoyed getting away from the city for a weekend. Friday, around 5 PM, we took off, Lenna driving and the rest of us just sitting there, being fat kittehs. we even bought chocolate, chips, cookies and candies... JUST FOR THE DRIVE. which takes an hour. we didn't eat all of it, but we sure ate a lot, hahah. om nom nom! then we came to the hut, made tortillas and ate, and just talked a lot. mostly about random stuff, like drunken stories, weird things at our residency, and stuff like that. it was pretty nice to get to talk and smoke with Emma again, since we rarely talk anymore, because she's always occupied with her boyfriend/fiancée. we laughed a lot that night, both Laura, Emma and I. went to bed pretty late. it was just the three of us at last in the living room because Lenna and Berit had gone to bed. Emma fell asleep, so Laura and I stayed up in our night wear and talked some more in front of the fire place. it was so lovely.
Saturday, we ate some breakfast at the hut, just chilling and taking it slow. then we took off to Hillerød to shop. I bought this awesome blue t-shirt for only 150 DKK, and that shirt I'm wearing at the picture, and then three pairs of socks with lots of colors and prints. Emma decided to go home to our residency after a few hours, since she was sick. I was quite sad when I heard she had been driven to the station, while Laura and I were in the last shop. then we got home, ate some dinner again, and then we did something that made me feel SO extremely awkward... we put on face masks. yes. we put on on face masks... and oh god, I felt so awkward. I even had two on. it's so not me anymore. but at least my skin got soft, haha! but it was fun. one of Laura's face masks was made out of chocolate, and when she put it on, she looked like this foundation-pop-girl.. I couldn't help but laugh everytime I looked at her, haha. it was pretty awesome. but when it came to myself, I felt so awkward, it was almost insane. but I had fun.
oh, and we made these small motives out of shrinking plastic, or whatever it's called! it's basically this kind of plastic you draw on, and when you put it in the oven, it shrinks into half the size. I made this huge-ass robot I'm gonna wear as a necklace, when I get a chain. it's so awesome, that robot, it's wearing sneakers. I can't wait to get a chain and wear it...
then we went to "bed", in the middle of the living room again, in front of the fire. just layed there, talking. if we were lovers, it would have been so romantic. *sadface*

Sunday, we got up early, took showers and stuff like that, and then I was driven to Anna's residency. we haven't seen each other in a while, so it was nice to hang out, even though I was kind of boring because I was completely beat. we slept for like.. 4 or something hours, because we both were tired, haha. we're lame. then I ate some dinner with her, and then headed home.

then Monday, I hung out with Jonas. I've gotten a TV in my room, so we had planned to game Tekken 4 in my room, but we couldn't make it work. ): sadface. I wanted to play tekken.
then I just hung out with him pretty much all day, since my internet wasn't working. we have this weird kind of relationship, all we do is bully each other and being "boys" together. like, talking about tits and stuff like that. pretty fun. it's awesome, Frederik and Jonas makes me feel like "one of the boys" at our residency.
then I made dinner, lasagne, and smoked some fags with Jonas and Frederik and just had fun, before I decided to head home, since my internet wasn't working. so I've been online for a while today, it's pretty nice. :]

then today, I went out to eat with my sister and my mum. it was nice, but my head was somewhere completely else. I don't even know where. but it was cozy, and I got so full!
and I saw Venus today. <3 nom! you know, the planet... it was beautiful.

I don't know you but I'll,
change you if you let me,
by my left hand you will die,
and by the right you'll come alive -
drink my blood...
Eat my flesh -
take your love out on me,
bondage is what I know best.

it's funny how everything that swore would never change, it's different now.

I'm sitting here at my mum's place, and I've been her since yesterday. it's nice. :] teheh. I'm home alone at the moment though, since everybody is at work. I'm going home to my residency soon though, when I have gotten ready. I'm just sitting here in my box0rz and binder, hahah. I'm too lazy to put on clothes, and no one is home, so I shouldn't care. if others were home, I wouldn't be in this situation right now, I hate being seen in only underwear, unless it's close friends. reminds me of that time when two of my good friends (keeping them anon this time, haha) flashed titties for me, because I had just been dumped, in the park in the middle of the evening. it was pretty fun, they're so weird. I love them.

I don't really have any plans today. I'm probably just gonna sit online until my hair is dry, smoke some nasty ass fags, cough my lungs out because I'm sick, listen to music and all that jazz. oh yeah, and cough some more. then I'm gonna take the two busses home to my residency, and eat some dinner. I decided to skip my Japanese lessons, since I had forgotten everything about them. and now it's almost 4 PM, and I'm not ready yet, and I would have to get my book at my residency, and then be there at 5 PM. I don't want to rush.. and I'm still sick. so yeah, I have a lot of bad excuses.

this weekend, I'm going to Tisvilde, together with Laura, Emma and two contact persons. it's probably gonna be sweet. there's no TV nor interwebz, so all we gonna do is talk. it's gonna be nice. I'm not looking forward to it that much, tbh, but I'm sure it's gonna be awesome and shit. last time I was there was with Emma, where we smeared her entire knee with vaseline, because we were bored. it was pretty weird, haha.
but on the other hand, I'm looking forward to spend some quality time together with Laura, Berit, Lenna and Emma. I'm pretty sure we're gonna have a great time.

on another note, I've decided to get a grip of myself. I did some stupid things some days ago, and there's not really anything I can do about it now. but I've ruined something fragile, something I loved. and I don't want to do that again, ever.

I just fell from the Mothership.

the weekend has been... simply awesome. I've felt so many feelings, but in a great way. I've laughed, loved, cried, been tired, been serious, been a lot of things. and even though it sounds overwhelming, it was just what I needed.
I had plans with Jamie, because he needed to get his ears done, by Muffe at Copenhagen Body Extremes. so I went to the central station of Copenhagen, where I randomly met Cecil! OMG, I was like... SO happy when I saw her! if I had a tail, I would whack it like crazy, hahah. I felt like my day couldn't get any better. she said she saw some person she found really hot, and when she saw my face, she was like "FUUU----CK!" and jumped me. it was nice, nice, nice. <3 it's been a while since I last saw her. so it was all good.
then we parted, because her friends were waiting for her at McD (LAWLZ) and I had to pick up Jamie. again, when I saw him, my tail happily whacked, hahaha. I saw two of the dearest persons in my life on that day, so I couldn't get more glad than I was. I introduced them to each other, too.
then Jamie and I walked around in Copenhagen, until it was 1 AM, and then we went to Body Extremes. he had to get earlobe scalpelling, which in other words mean.. getting his lobes cut up and get stretched. but it turned out so awesome! I was like "OH GOD!" when I saw them done, they were so pretty.
then we ate some McD, and just walked around and went home to me. ate some delicious hawaii pizza near the central station. bought these weird, floppy balls designed to look like chickens, and laughed at them for about half an hour, hahahahah. I laughed a lot, really. then we went home to my residency, and drank. we got on some subjects. I started to cry at one point, because I regretted all the girls and boy I've been with since we broke up.. I really regret it all. I used people and thought it was my way of getting over him. but I didn't get over him, I just got worse, and got this horrible feeling of regret in my chest instead. so yeah, I cried.
then he slept at my place. had a lovely evening and day, one of the best I've had in a very long time, mhm. <3
then we woke up the next day and just goofed around. I had to go to my cousin's birthday/nonfirmation, and I wanted him to go with me, but he wasn't allowed by my aunt. sadly. followed him to the train and then went for the party. it was pretty nice, and everybody says they can see I've gotten happier. it's pretty cool.
then after some hours, I went to Jamie's place, where we just lay and chillaxed. it was really nice. but I got sick later that evening, and was all coughy and snotty and ew, which was pretty gross.
went for a walk with him today, and then I took the train home. then I haven't done anything in particular. I kind of feel like I broke everything, by sending this stupid pussy textmessage to him. and now I feel all down, and stupid. I don't want to ruin anything, I've had such an amazing weekend, and I feel like I shattered everything by sending that stupid text.
I'm so fucking lame. urgh. I just want it to turn back time and have Friday again.

I'm so fucking lame.