I know, you know, you knew, you never could.

yo all! wassup? are you all enjoying yourself? 'cause I sure am. life is weird and wonderful, in a strange way. a lot of things has gone up and down since the last time I wrote, which is a pretty long time ago actually. I've turned 18, so legally, I'm an adult now. it's weird, and I can't really get the thought smashed into my head yet. I still see myself as a kid, probably always will do. I don't believe that I'll ever grow up, I'll end up like Peter Pan instead, just by heart. he's my rolemodel, actually. I was told by my aunt or something like that, that I had always reminded her of him, and I got so happy. it was around my mum's birthday, I think I've mentioned that on my blog in an earlier entry. I'm happy.

so yeah, I turned 18! woo. I had an awesome day. I spent my last evening as 17 in my mum's kitchen, together with Jonas, reminiscing good times and bad times from my life. went for a walk with him, and we ended up at the same hospital I was at 2 years ago. it brought a lot of memories along, just being there. but I'm glad he was with me, even though he really hates hospitals, especially "loonybins". it meant a lot to me.

then came Tuesday, my birthday. got woken up by my mum and my sister singing "happy birthday" to me, including a rather disturbing "remix" of the song. hahahha. ate homebaked buns and drank hot chocolat and had fun with my family and Jonas. I could already sense that the day was going to be awesome.
then in the afternoon I went home to my residency together with Jonas. went to the piercer with Nanna, but he wasn't on work, so we couldn't get our tongue piercings shortened. oh yeah, I got a tongue piercing 2 weeks ago, and it's absolutely awesome to have it back. :'D I love it.

then Emilia, my good friend, came over, and gave me some really amazing presents. apparently, she remembered what my favorite perfume is, even though I've only mentioned it to her once or so. so she gave me that, 2 packs of Blue Kings cigarettes, 200 DKK and and and.... 2 DVDS OF "LAND BEFORE TIME"!!!! I was so touched and happy, and I couldn't stop smiling. she's really a great friend, she is. I love her. from Jonas, I got a really sweet letter, and in the upcoming month, I'll get "my real present". can't wait. my mum is giving me a tattoo, and my sister is paying for my angelbites, which I'm getting when I come home from vacation. my brother gave me 800 DKK, and Askur, 2 packs of Blue Kings.<3

then we ate tortillas at my residency and made layercake with strawberry and banana, nom nom nom nom. <3 it was OSSUM. so good, I tell you, so good!
and then we headed off to Tivoli, 3 of my friends and I. I'm keeping them anonymous this time, because there's some private stuff about them I need to tell after this, because it's something that's bugging me. but we had a really great time, ate candyfloss and rode rollercoasters and laughed a hella lot. I couldn't figure out how I could get a better 18th birthday, tbh, besides that Cecil would be there with me, too. <3 I miss her so much.

the thing is... I've written about this crush I have, right? well, it's not quite over. and going to Tivoli only made me realize that it was more than a crush at that time.. it's getting better now, it's slowly starting to go away. but the thing is, that one of the guys I live with, has gotten feelings for her, and she's got feelings for him too. so whenever she held her arm, tried rollercoasters together or something, I felt so fucking frustrated, because I saw her as my girlfriend. it's kind of ridiculous.
but I've come to terms with the fact that I cannot get her, and I'm getting over her.

and also; the thing that made me slowly start to get over her, was a conversation with a good friend of mine. he confessed his feelings to me, and we talked it over. I've also felt like I eventually could get feelings for him, same as he says he's confused about right at the moment. love is a big blur for me at the moment, to be completely honest. because I miss him when I'm not with him, and we kiss, hold hands and fool around everyday, acting exactly like lovers do. it's really weird, but it feels right. it really does. but we are both not sure about our feelings, because it's not like a new summer love. we've known each other for a while now, half a year I think. we've loved each other in a few months, too, but just as friends to start with.
frankly, I really don't know what to do. as I wrote before, love is a big blur for me, and I'm so confused. is it possible to have a crush on two persons at the same time?

I'm leaving Denmark on Sunday, and I will be back in a week or so. I can't wait. going to Greece, hellz yeah baby! I'm gonna get so fat and tanned, hahaha. it's lovely.

I hope you all will enjoy your days. <3