my legs are dangling off the edge, a stomach full of pills didn't work again, I'll put a bullet in my head, and I'm gone.

I've removed my cheek piercings... sadly. I fucking hate it. and I have these really ugly-ass scars now, because I should have taken them out a long time ago, when they started fucking up.. which they to do started a few months ago. but it was for the better, that I took them out. they had started to move down my cheeks, so I had started to get red marks from them. and they hurt and was swollen. so it was probably for the better.
but I feel like some part of me is missing, because I've removed them. it sucks ('cuz they play some of my favorite songs, like, stab my heart because I love you, and rip apart my soul, and of course; STABBY RIP STAB STAB. hahahhhaha).
instead, I'm thinking about angelbites. but it's just that.. everybody around me say it won't look good on me. but I want them so fucking bad. I can always take them out, if they don't look good. they're one of my favorite piercings, together with butterfly piercings, and septum.

today, I woke up, and felt really bad, physically. I've been sick since Sunday. but my contact person forced me to get up, and go to my japanese lessons, even though I was really sick.. so on the way, I got really down and stressed, and felt so sick. so we decided it was for the better, that I got home. danx gawd.

then I've pretty much just hung out with Askur, Jonas and Frederik. looked at some semi-porn magazines, and smoked some fags. oh, and I gave Askur a boner, because I licked his finger. it was pretty lawlz-worthy.

I've been thinking a lot lately.. spent my nights doing so. I want to get tattooed soon, most likely on my birthday. I want to get "bird little bird" written on my right arm, together with a little black bird, and then "you have no freedom" on the left arm, and a little feather. I've been thinking about this tattoo for a while. and right at the moment, I can't get it out of my head. also, because I can relate to it in a lot of different ways.
I'll never be able to accept myself, my gender, and my past. I'm bound to it, and I can't run away from it. so yeah...

lately, all I'm listening to is Hollywood Undead's song, "Bullet". it's pretty genius. it's a pretty happy-sounding song, but the lyrics are so.. emo. hahahah. but it's really brilliant, it is.

so if I survive, well then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah I'll see you tomorrow.